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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25716916">Happy</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/okayokayfinefine/pseuds/okayokayfinefine'>okayokayfinefine</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M, Past Kurotsuki, implied past oiyama, kuroken is mentioned for like one line lol, slightly angsty, tsukkiyama aren't technically together but they're the focus</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 10:28:33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,068</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25716916</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/okayokayfinefine/pseuds/okayokayfinefine</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Yamaguchi pauses. Thinks. He pauses whatever music is playing on his phone and takes one of his earbuds out. “Um, I like you in a friend-like way for the most part?” He takes out his other earbud and sets down his phone. He straightens up, causing the bed under Tsukishima to slightly dip. “Like I'm pretty sure that it's just platonic but if you asked me on a date I would not say no.” Yamaguchi furrows his eyebrows and his face is tight with concentration, as if he’s debating on what to say next. “And if you kissed me right now, I would probably kiss you back."</p>
<p>—</p>
<p>In which Tsukishima and Yamaguchi wonder what life would be like if they were dating</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>46</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Happy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is kind of sad I'm sorry. This was originally a part of a story I'm writing with my oc's but I thought it would fit Tsukkiyama nicely so I took out some things and edited it a bunch and now we're here. Apologizes for any mistakes! Enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Tsukki, I like you,” Yamaguchi says one cold evening. It’s completely out of the blue. He and Tsukishima are sitting on Tsukishima’s bed together, Tsukishima is laying over Yamaguchi’s legs. He has a fantasy book about dragons and kingdoms between his fingers and Yamaguchi’s eyes are glued to his phone and he’s wearing his earbuds and swaying his head to the beat of whatever he’s listening to as if he had never spoken.</p>
<p>
  <em> I like you.  </em>
</p>
<p>It was innocent enough but still manages to send chills down Tsukishima’s spine and he can feel the atmosphere grow heavy and the tips of his fingers grow cold. The grey skies outside darken, dimming the room and the rain patters on their dorm room window wildly.</p>
<p>“Oh,” is the beginning of Tsukishima’s ever eloquent response. “Like me as in a friend-like way or like me in a romantic sense?”</p>
<p>Yamaguchi pauses. Thinks. He pauses whatever music is playing on his phone and takes one of his earbuds out. “Um, I like you in a friend-like way for the most part?” He takes out his other earbud and sets down his phone. He straightens up, causing the bed under Tsukishima to slightly dip. “Like I'm pretty sure that it's just platonic but if you asked me on a date I would not say no.” Yamaguchi furrows his eyebrows and his face is tight with concentration, as if he’s debating on what to say next. “And if you kissed me right now, I would probably kiss you back,” he adds. Then, satisfied with all that he said, he nods. “Yeah. That’s all.”</p>
<p>“Oh,” Tsukishima doesn't know quite what to say in response. That was definitely not the answer he expected. Not at all. How would that even work anyway? Would he ever want to go on a date with Yamaguchi? The idea doesn’t sound bad to him but he doesn’t exactly have <em> romantic </em>feelings for him and isn’t that required to date someone? Would he just date Yamaguchi as a friend and hope the romantic feelings would come later? Is that even something he could do?</p>
<p>He looks at the younger boy. Yamaguchi is looking back at him, copper eyes soft yet tired. His face is soft and he radiates patience and safety in a way Tsukishima greatly appreciates. He comes to his conclusion.</p>
<p>“If circumstances were a bit different, I probably could have loved you,” it wasn’t a straight answer, and it definitely wasn’t the answer Yamaguchi probably needed to hear yet hearing himself say it out loud makes Tsukishima’s heart calm down a little because it really is true.</p>
<p>Yamaguchi laughs, loud and sad. The rain still drums at the window. </p>
<p>“Ah, if I were a bit taller, way smarter, and had messier black hair maybe you could have loved me then?” He asks, meaning <em> if we lived in a universe where I was more like Kuroo? </em></p>
<p>Tsukishima shakes his head. “No,” he replies because he honestly is over Kuroo.</p>
<p>What Tsukishima means is <em>if we lived in a universe where people were more accepting of two boys in love; If we were both a bit more confident and a lot more prideful and if you were a bit more stronger and I was a bit more softer; If we both had more friends outside of volleyball and didn’t spend so much time pining after shitty high school captains and pretty boys with messy hair then maybe I could have loved you.</em></p>
<p>He means is <em>if</em><em> we lived in a universe where I didn’t latch onto the first senior who showed my some type of pity over my circumstances instead of just brushing off my attitude and telling me to simply 'do better' and if you didn’t give your entire heart to an ever too prideful captain of a rival school simply because you thought he was everything you weren't then maybe, just maybe, I could have loved you. </em></p>
<p>Yamaguchi nods sagely as he understands everything Tsukishima is thinking. Maybe he does. Yamaguchi could always see straight through him. “Ah.”</p>
<p>It's silent for a while. Tsukishima listens to the rain. It seems to have gotten quieter too</p>
<p>Then Yamaguchi speaks, “Do you think in some alternate universe we’re dating?”</p>
<p>Tsukishima shrugs. Personally he doesn't believe in alternate universes. This was it. You got one chance and one life to live the way you wanted to and you better not fuck it up. Too late for that he supposes. Just to humor Yamaguchi though, “ Yea, I think so. I’d like to think so.”</p>
<p>Yamaguchi gives a breathily chuckle the same time the rain starts to pour harder again. The sound drums around them. “Do you think we’re happy there?” Yamaguchi asks him. </p>
<p>Tsukishima stills. </p>
<p><em> Happy </em>? </p>
<p>Happy’s a big word. And it could have so many meanings. Happy together, or just happy in general?</p>
<p>Tsukishima could have sworn he was happy with Kuroo but then they broke up and Tsukishima realized just how sad he'd been. Tsukishima was broken. Tsukishima was miserable. Kuroo was miserable too, he thinks (Kuroo’s less miserable now, Tsukishima had noticed, ever since that one long haired setter confessed to him). But misery truly does love company and together, they both fueled each other's misery; pushing each other to their limit until one day they snapped. </p>
<p>
  <em> I guess that one saying is true; hurt people really do hurt people.  </em>
</p>
<p>But...that's not fully true is it? Yamaguchi struggles too. For the years he's stayed by the other boy's side Tsukishima knows that Yamaguchi is not always happy. He struggles with confidence, he struggles with pride, he struggles with a lot. However, when Tsukishima is with Yamaguchi, no matter how much he is struggling, Yamaguchi is always looking for a way to help out and support Tsukishima. He pushes them both to always do better. Yamaguchi's soft smiles and words of encouragement perfectly balances Tsukishima's sharp edges and snarky tongue.</p>
<p>
  <em> Kuroo and I...we were two miserable people who hurt each other in an attempt to feel loved but Yamaguchi... When I'm with him I'm not content with just complaining and being hurt. I don’t want to be pitied. I want to be better. He inspires me to be better. We may be hurt but we are hurt together and we are helping each other heal. </em>
</p>
<p>Tsukishima nods and smiles. He knows his answer, “Yeah. I think we are happy.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>thank for reading- I might write more stories to go along with it because i purposely left past event/relationships vague but who knows loll</p></blockquote></div></div>
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